BE WARNED.
I am going to take some serious
liberties with this little blog of mine today.
I know. I know. With any blog comes great responsibility and
I thought long and hard before deciding to post this. At the end, my immense PRIDE won the internal
battle. So, prepare yourself. This blog is all about how incredibly PROUD
my daughter Jade makes me.
Yes, every
parent is prejudice when it comes to their child. No matter what they look like, they are
beautiful. No matter their I.Q., they
are smart. No matter their bahaviour,
they are an angel. When I became a
parent, I promised myself I would rise above the typical parent prejudice and
ensure the PRIDE I felt, because of my child, was justified. While only Jade can tell you the true story,
I expect my audacious goal kept life pretty real for her. Being my kid certainly didn’t entitle her to
a free pass, for anything. In fact, the
bar got set just a little higher to ensure parent prejudice never came into
play. Now, some kids, many kids, would
have rebelled. Looking back, I know I walked a dangerous line. The pressure to
succeed would have felt suffocating to many children and the outcome could have
easily been complete disenchantment. Not
Jade. No matter what, she always rose to
the occasion. As a toddler, she was the
sweet little girl with the blonde bouncy curls, striking blue eyes and adorable
disposition. Everyone enjoyed her
presence. As she got older, she was the
child with the sweet heart who always seemed to have a soul much older than her
years. At Grade 8 Graduation, what I
always knew about Jade was confirmed when she received the Principal’s
Leadership Award. My PRIDE was
publically justified.
In a flash,
three and a half years of high school have flown by. Jade continues to excel. She is loved at school. She has assumed many amazing leadership roles
from Captain of the Swim Team to Link Leader.
She has a tight group of close friends and a kind and wonderful boyfriend. In two years with McDonald’s, Jade has
demonstrated an incredible work ethic, moving from Crew to Crew Trainer to Team
Lead and she is well on her way to Swing Manager. Again, no need for
prejudice. Jade continually inspires justified
pride.
While I
have never kept my pride for Jade a secret, I have always been fairly subtle
about it. Blogging about it was never
something I thought I would do. Then
again, I guess I never imagined Jade would demonstrate the immense strength,
tenacity and conviction she has over the last 18 months. I never thought she would have to.
In the
spring of 2013, Jade’s Dad (my ex-husband), was diagnosed with Idiopathic
Pulmonary Fibrosis. You can look it up,
but the long story short is it attacks your lungs and makes breathing difficult
and eventually impossible. This was a
cruel diagnosis for someone soo young and the attack was rapid. By the fall, Pat was put on life support as
he suffered through a severe infection which made breathing on his own
impossible. Instead of celebrating with
friends, Jade spent Halloween 2013 at the hospital, by her father’s side,
contemplating decisions no one should ever have to make. Jade shares power of attorney with her
Grandma and spent countless hours discussing her Dad’s condition, his wishes
and preparing to say good-bye. The emotional
roller coaster was intense and Jade demonstrated maturity and strength well
beyond her years and really beyond most people I know. I was soo proud.
Through
nothing short of a miracle, Pat overcame the infection and successfully
acquired a spot on the transplant list.
While still very sick, there was hope.
In early 2014, the call was received.
Jade’s Dad was taken to Toronto and the transplant surgery was
performed. Unfortunately, it did not go
well. Pat received one lung, instead of
two, issues during surgery destroyed his kidneys and an undiagnosed infection
kept him in the hospital for months.
Jade supported her dad. She continued
to go to school and maintain her extracurricular responsibilities. She smiled. She laughed; all the while
suffering. She made me proud.
While Jade’s
Dad is now home, the current situation is precarious, at best. He needs two new lungs, two new kidneys and
spends every day on oxygen and every other day, in the hospital on
dialysis. When Jade visits her father
for the holidays, she will spend two thirds of the time in a hospital, with
him. Not once does she complain. She makes me soo proud.
Despite all
of this, all the hours in the hospital, all the conversations about medical
procedures and difficult choices, Jade had one specific request for our Families’
Christmas Day activity. She wanted us all
to volunteer and spend the day with those less fortunate than herself. On a very specific mission, Jade did her research
and found the opportunity she was looking for.
The Ronald McDonald House at CHEO needed volunteers. She made the call. She set up the
meeting. Yesterday, we had our
orientation and discovered what our duties would be on Christmas Day. It was while we were touring the Family Room
on the Pediatric ICU Ward, that it really hit me. You see, I have gotten so accustom to Jade’s
strength, kindness and spirit that I am often guilty of taking it for
granted. I allow myself to forget the
magnitude of what she is dealing with.
Yesterday, when the Ronald McDonald House representative asked Jade why
she was doing this, I stepped in and explained what Jade had been dealing
with. I chose my words carefully and
kept the explanation short. It took less
than a minute and in that minute I saw the tears begin to glisten in Jade’s
eyes and like a tidal wave, it hit me; her incredible strength, remarkable
kindness, fantastic resilience and the fragility of it all.
I
love you more than I ever thought I could love any other human being. You are the person I could not even dream of
you becoming because even I do not set the bar that high. You make your family proud every single day
and it will be an honor to volunteer with you on Christmas Day. Thank you for making us all better people.
Happy
Holidays to all, from a Mom who couldn’t be more proud.
xo
